Tell me a beautiful lie
I've been in want of a story
Don't try a half-truth on me
We both know it'll never fit
No idea why we keep trying
Tell me a beautiful story
Tell me a wonderful lie

This is really more prose than poetry, and so I will give you the longest title ever, also you should go listen to Galia Arad. She's hot. (Also Known As 'Five Man Band')

The Hero,
Just sort of standing there
Maybe a little bit lost
Maybe a little bit human
They're all so fragile
You think you find one with no humanity finally
And you can breathe a sigh of relief
Even if the whole idea's horrifying
What a break you were just cut
They'll never stop, can you see
Can you see
Can you see
Can you see
Can't you see
(This time, you think you've really found one)

The Lancer
Climbing trees
And bending backwards
For the kicks to be averted
For the giggles to not sound so forced
Afraid to high heaven to find the sea
Because Hero's just a bit overly fond of fish
So dear old Lancer wouldn't even know
What to do with one
(Let alone the mermaid standing right there)

The Smart Guy
Dressed out nicely
Pretending the hardest to be the comic relief
You can't see,
You really can't begin to hear
The beginning of the list
Say all of the right things
At just one beat off,
People think it's the charmingest,
(No kidding, kid)

The Girl
Because we gotta catch 'em all
And we all want a shot with her
She's pretty
She's nice
She's generally sane
She can kick some serious trash
And do we ever want her
Hey girl, come closer, why don't you
Medic, mother, nanny, lover
(Chances are slim, buddy, get in line)

The Tough Guy
With swooning little misses
And dark anti-hero appeal
Swaggering 'round in the darkness
You'll never find him
He's hidden so well
If you tried just a little bit harder
Perhaps he'll heel face turn,
But while we wait on the laughter
You'll work yourself down too hard
Don't try to catch him
He's such a child
Don't enable, he's perfectly stable
(He just wants the shine)

Winningly winging
Your caged bird is singing
Singing the most lovely
Sad song for me
Telling me stories
Whisper-sweet stories
Tales of adventures
And tales of the sea

Well I should hope so
I should hope so
But I don't
I hope that you never discover
How close you came
To uncovering
My name
You really have no clue
You want the truth
But, baby, you're never going to find it
It's hid too deep
On the best days
Even I don't notice
So take a deep breath
I'll smile for you
You can keep on guessing
I'll keep convincing myself
To forget my secrets
We'll have a ball while it lasts

No! Not.
Why would you ever?
Think that?
No, I couldn't
Not so much I couldn't,
But hate!
You have a case of upside-downs
You're one of my favorites
Think of all the things you could get away with
Because I'll just forgive you
That's how much I care
I even
Take on your speech patterns
After hanging out
Love you not?
Ha!
You card
How funny you have your head twisted on

Her insides ached
With the kind of cuts you get
When you rush while shaving in the morning
The kind that sting and smart all day
But don’t bleed (a single drop)
She was in the middle of a crusade
She thought she was telling me about her failed love affair
But I thought she was just in the middle
Of a hurricane,
A headache,
A boxing match with the world
And you could see her defeated eyes
Completely free of tears
Just another heart-wrenching daybreak on the horizon
Just another listless set of smiles prepared
You could see she thought herself silly
An eight-year-old again
Watching her daddy walk out
But then she remembered
Her daddy had loved her
Saved up a jar of hope and hidden it away from the mother
And this man now
Didn’t love her
Had chosen someone else
And the gentle tendrils of spent wistfulness
Evaporated, escaped into the air
She was cutting herself
On the sharp shards of shattered sweetness
Melancholy dulled the edges
Of her bright and living eyes
She looked at me
Lied about her wellbeing
I tried to scoff
To shrug it off
To rouse her to a healing wrath
She shook her head and kept going

Sunshine Lunchtime

Already feeling whimsy
I sauntered right outside
Stealing some girl away
From what she thought was her place
In the halls
And when we couldn't walk
We laid down
Looked at each other
Smiled
And tuned out the world
My sunshine lunchtime
So obscure and breif
Gifting lasting little things
Charging my tiniest
Cell-based million-millionth small panels
Soaking up light

The words tumbled out
Troubling for space
Limber boards of timber
Bumbling around
The inside of my head
I was desperate for you to understand
And bewildered when you didn't

Glaring paper-white
Blank

The Eagles crooning
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face

Another panic attack diverted
Leaving me
Desolate and humiliated
Alone, untouchable,
Because in some primal past
Before time happened
Antique epochs bygone
I chose this

I chose this
And I filled myself with condemnation
I will be my own ruin

Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget

Leaking into patterns
Blaring silence
Angry emptiness

I don't love music
But when you play it loud enough
It overrides my brain
I can think without
Interrupting myself

We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device

There was tension building my shoulders
Up to my ears
The muscles tying me together strained
The ligaments froze up
Things stretched wrong-ways,
Pulling against each other gently

I waited, listening to the thrumming noise
That was my heartbeat
Hummingbird-hummingbird-pulse-hummingbird
Thrum, thrum, thrum
Waiting for the crooning white noise

I was incredibly anxious
The thing that happens to me sometimes
I forget to mail a letter
I don't water the already-dead houseplant
I put my hair up unevenly
Those things
That make me freeze
The ones that make my blood flash cold and then hot
That raise the number of
Unreal picture-dancing-hallucinations
Twisting behind my eyes

Then the singer came in
And I realized how silly I had been
The terror-images hiding in my bones
Slipped away timidly, gyrating
In time
With the music

Sway, sway,
Strum
And smile
Don't you go away quite yet
Sway, sway
Hum
Cheshire grin, wink on the sly
Say, say
Please sit and stay a while

I have ruined you
I have ruined you
What apology is there
When nothing can be done
There will be hell to pay
And forgiveness to beg
I have ruined you
Little boy, we're blood
And besides that, love
What have I done
I thought my talks with
Our Father
Were private lamentations
And I have ruined you now
When will it stop
Who set it in motion
I don't want to shoulder this blame
There's just so much of it
And as it towers precariously over me
I can only hold so much on my head
Before it kills me
I don't want to die guilty
I don't want to offend my ancestors
I don't want to live in the shadow of shame
What have I done

Sometimes, the best things get writ when I need most to pee.
(Because that's a need-to-know fact right there.)

I got your letter
In that box
Some days ago
I took it to a corner to cherish it
How are you, how are you?
Running through my mind like sand

I'm doing fine
I want you to know
I love you the way I can

Say you're close to happy
Makes me smile just so
I'll only half-believe you
Something you already know
I just want you to come home

I wish you were here
To make a little fun of me
I wish you were together with that boy we both know you love
Hope you have all of the happiness
I don't know what else to say to you

You said
Don't be afraid of being too familiar
But here I am
Chewing my nails
Swallow all the things I know
I should just say
Smile at your sunlight
Who knows when you'll come again

(Mary who plays cards
cards, cards, cards, cards, cards, cards, cards, cards, cards
with Ben and Al
Sipping gently
On the flavor of their lips,
Alternating smooth and patient
to want-me-want-me-now and sparks)

The colors bathed in
By the city for the sun
Were gold and love
With just hints of shoot-green
Every now and then
Peeking corners over satchels
Blue bruises painting each other into the shadows
Reposing gently
A cordial nod to Titian
With sly hues
Of languid divinity
Leaking over from somewhere
Chilled invitingly as is Mary